Who should you lose weight for...not always an easy answer.

Two post in one day...this is a new record for me!  This post is a very personal one.  And very hard to write.  It may even make you a little mad.  But I don't think I'm alone here.

I like to say, 'I am losing this weight and reclaiming my life for me'.  But that is not necessarily completely the truth.  Sure, society looks at overweight people as being lazy, or unmotivated.  Especially those who have never struggled with their weight.  But what if someone you love and trust implies that on you?  To get to my point I need to travel back in time a bit.

I met the man I am married to a little over 7 years ago.  We will celebrate our 7 year anniversary in October.  We had a whirl wind courtship.  Very quick and intense.  I got pregnant (I was 36 at the time, and thought I couldn't have kids...that's a story for another time).  Six months after meeting...marriage.  So, basically, we spent the first couple years having babies, and getting to know each other.  Not an easy task to say the least.  I do love this man, and I do know he loves me.  But sometimes, I'm surprise by his lack of ....let's say, filter.

When we met, I was exactly the size I am now.  Mind you, I've lost 57 pounds in the last year (33 since February).  So I put on a bit of weight having two children back to back...and relishing not dieting (they are 16 months apart).  First pregnancy I gained 60+ pounds, and lost most of it, but not all of it.  Second pregnancy, I gained a mere 9 pounds and was lighter after having my son than when I got pregnant (I had a few to lose when I got preggo).  I was still heavier than when I met my husband.  Then with having a baby and a toddler...working full time...post partum...I gained, and gained, and gained!!  One night about a year and a half ago my husband says..."I've never been with anyone as big as you".  What the &#*@????  Did he say it to be mean?  Don't know.  Did he say it to motivate me?  I think so.  Did it motivate me?  At first yes, then ultimately no.  You see, tell me to do something in a way that is hurtful or mean...I'm going to do the opposite.  Now, you may be saying, why are you with a man that would not love you for who you are?  Well, that's not the case.  Yes, he hurt my feelings deeply with that statement, and he can be an ass at times (well, more than I would really like him to be), but I know he loves me.  In his own weird unfiltered way.

So now my point.  Last June I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes.  This was a couple months after the dreaded comment that my husband will NEVER live down (oh how we women can hold a grudge...LOL).  I was put on Metformin and easily lost 23 pounds (the medicine has some wicked, not so pleasant side effects that I call the I got to go effect).  That did seem to appease him...but me, oh no...it was on like Donkey Kong!  In February, my besties and I started our new weight loss journey, started journaling like mad, and are working towards our goals.  Am I doing this solely for me?  NOOOOO...like I said, I hold a grudge.  I wanted to prove to my husband that I am still hot.  And, also, I like shopping in the non plus size section of the store!  I also have two children that I don't want to struggle as I have, so I need to be a role model.  So am I doing this for myself?  Should the answer be yes?  Not always...we all have our reasons.  Ultimately, I'm responsible for doing this.  I am the only one who can control what I put in my mouth (and I have 3 awesome girls who support my every step).  So in that aspect...yes, I'm doing this for me.

So who are you doing this for?  I don't think there is a wrong answer.  The point is...ultimately, no matter who you are doing this for initially, you are the one who reaps the rewards in the end!

PS...this last weekend, my husband asked my sister to babysit..."I want to take my hot wife out"...pay dirt!